Emotion and choices: the impact of one on the other is proving challenging. I've always known I respond to emotion with food and in some cases alcohol. For example, you've accomplished something you worked really hard for and the reward is a piece of cake or after sweating in the Florida heat doing yard work - sometimes a nice cold beer. Changing that cycle and/or routine is actually what is proving quite challenging. Again, I feel like I need to eat my words of "I like extremes.." because the cold turkey is chilly! Last week...case in point.
A couple of days at work were challenging and even though I came home and took the dogs for a walk (and inevitably sweated a LOT out), I STILL wanted my shoulders to relax and come down to their normal position; and for me, this typically means a glass of wine. Another day, I was so angry at a couple of different things that I didn't care what I ate; chips, chocolate, peanut butter, let's have it all! What did it matter?! Again, the relationship between the two is...is...I can't even think of the word. Frustrating, intriguing, ridiculous, manipulating.... Why when I KNOW I want to make wiser choices would this even be an issue? I can resist the temptation, or can I?!
Perhaps my dear husband described it best when I was frustrated with myself one evening. It's a routine. It's a way of thinking I've conditioned myself to and in this 30-day challenge I'm trying to change those behaviors and associations. I'd say I've done well 80% of the time, but as a perfectionist I want 100%!! I guess I wouldn't have called it a challenge if I knew it was going to be easy and I was going to be perfect at it the first time around :)
And so...I continue to try.
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